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Damien Marie AtHope
The measure of a person is not the absence of fear; it is the mastering of it. I wish to always show fortitude of character in standing when others sit down. I feel my life came from a hard seed of...ver maisThe measure of a person is not the absence of fear; it is the mastering of it. I wish to always show fortitude of character in standing when others sit down. I feel my life came from a hard seed of hate but through a willingness to change grew in to a sturdy tree of love and integrity.
I had grown up in two broken homes both trying to push their tired, follow the rules morals and brand of religion on me. My father was from a religious cult and my mom's church was the kind that danced in the aisles with flailing arms around in the air and chanting. All that to me was embracing and weird and seemed far removed from any idea of love and respect I was looking for. BOTH parents like their faiths said they believed in loved but gave little love. These people that were supposed to love and care for me, yet, did nothing of the sort.
I learned to hate and to hurt. I became a juvenile delinquent and more. No one is going to tell me anything and where was this god as my parents put me through hell. I felt the world asked too much from me and gave too little. I had a hard heart toward everything, people, society, and religion. I was rebellious to a notion that anyone had charge over my life but me.
My mom and step dad showed me somewhat of a better life with less trauma than before but the seed of hate was already planted. I became bigger as I grew. I was young, big, and tough. I could do anything I thought and hated everyone. I had forgotten the desire to love and never learned to love.
At 13, I was drunk for the first time, a bad idea in a long line of bad ideas. At 17, after much pain, addiction, and almost dying in a rehab, I realized I needed to know myself, love myself, and be myself. And doing that has been a life’s journey to see beyond what is seen, heard, and felt. I embrace change to be better and help others. Now I desire to improve the world around me and be the person I would be proud of :) I now have a loving relationship with my mom and stepdad but not my father who I have not talked to in almost 2 decades.ver menos