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Susan Bergstrom
Susan Bergstrom was raised in a backwoods Massachusetts town with no mall, movie theater, bowling alley or McDonald’s for miles in any direction. Hence, she learned to drink hyperb...ver maisSusan Bergstrom was raised in a backwoods Massachusetts town with no mall, movie theater, bowling alley or McDonald’s for miles in any direction. Hence, she learned to drink hyperbolically around bonfires with older boys.
Later, she earned a BA and M.Ed. from the University of Massachusetts @ Lowell while jelly-face drunk. Her college years were spent mastering stalking as a viable alternative to dating. In fact, she found one young man so captivating that she rented the vacant apartment beneath his. Despite his predilection for loudly playing Smokey Robinson’s “Tears of a Clown” prior to dawn each morning, Ms. Bergstrom maintained that the situation was preferable to an actual relationship.
Consequently, she grew lonely. One night in a crowded bar she looked up from her beer and announced to anyone who would listen, “I’m going to marry a cowboy.” She drove from Massachusetts to Colorado, found a man who drove a pickup, chewed tobacco and wore Wranglers. Eight months later they married and lived happily ever after.ver menos